 Like any other women, I have my own idol, I want a happy life student under pressure. I want to explore Africa, marry a pilot, honeymoon in a hot air balloon and get solemnise on water! FT students are real hot. Brad Pitt and Barack Obama, they are my idol. |
Friday, September 26, 2008
; Nina. and how i wonder a guy whom i've never met for like three years, just come and confessed. he likes me. no he said he loves me! wth! im sorry just not in the mood to be attached! finally! ; Nina. yeah! so when was the last time i blogg-ed? yeah 14 sept. right. alot to update and stuffs. yes yesterday was exactly 8 years dad left. okay a lot has happened. ART? thank god its fucking over. im so relieved. and thanks to that fucking subject that i have no time to revise for physics paper! which is easy if you actually revise through. everything's alright especially when MR AWESOME took our class for physics paper. hahaha. uhm yeah, been meeting Mr H this few days. and guess what, when we got home mum and cousin went... "ibu like Mr H. go marry him lah" then my elder brother kay poh kay poh interfere. "yeah lah. of all your guy friend i only like him. you go marry him lah. i wont give you my blessing if you marry some other guy!" -_-. wth! im only SIXTEEN and they are talking about marriage with me. and only if they know what happened, do you think they will like say that? huh? okay! yay! i rebonded my hair! haha. went to school just now and my chairman who were marking attendance went "okay nina's not here today" busted sia hui ping. haha. and some say that i look like EGYPTIAN princess which is cleopatra. ahah. dian requested me to clip my hair cause she's not used seeing me with fringe. haha i kinda tried to take nice pics with my new hair but just not in mood. so all the pics actually turned out either i look fucking chubby (or i am really gaining pounds) or my smile doesnt look sincere. kay example of how i look kay.  see that insincerity in my smile. and the chubby cheeks! edited* i cant wait for raya lah sia! my baju is turqoise. haha. Sunday, September 14, 2008
I. RINDU. AYAH ; Nina. yes had my operation last friday. it was a wonderful yet painful experience. was glad though when the doctor said im a good patient cause i smiled through out the process. haha. okay. i miss my dad okay? why are you so mean? why do you leave me when i still need you? like the least you can do is kiss me for the last time or something? i need you to see me smile. watch me grow, hear me sob? what is so difficult? you know since young im closer to you than mum. you know me best. you know my every desire. you know when im sad, when im happy and when im having a problem. now you tell me, who will be there when i cry at night? when i hide under the blanket, crying silently? now who can i go to, complaining that sister hurt me and put me on his lap? why do you have to go. since you left, its not as if i didnt try making them understand me. only you do. they just refuse to understand me. sometimes even mum dont know what i like, like the simplest thing ever, my favourite food. when i cried last night, did you even know that i was crying, that i was calling for you? no one realised that i was crying because they thought im a strong girl who is defiant, independent, rude and all. fuck it lah. Dad i miss you. i love you, you know that. edited* chatted with shafie and afew words of advice from him if im dreaming wake me up! says: haha tk interesting lah life shafiee says: make it interesting den shafiee says: lyfe is full of surprises u noe shafiee says: u nvr noe wat type of surprises u'll get untill u find it shafiee says: stop leaving in dreams n start living ya lyfe Thursday, September 11, 2008
IM. SO. DEAD ; Nina. i just tk paham why the irritating lower sec have to make Mr. Awesome shout early in the morning at the quadrangle. spoil his mood only. well, Nina actually lost count of how many more days to o level. when she started counting again this morning, its 35 FUCKING MORE DAYS TO O LEVEL! omg Nina Amiliah, what are you effing gonna do? is she gonna starve herself? is she gonna sacrifice her sleep? is she gonna stop thinking of hanging out every saturday for the moment? NINA!!! NO MORE : pretending to be listening in English class! turning back and talking to Riduan and Bernard in Maths class! planning to skip Mathematics tuition! (you paid okay) playing of psp in Chemistry class! joking with Mr Rick Lee in Physics class! bitching and gossipping in Geography class! the i cant. be. bothered. attitude in Social Studies class! falling asleep in POA class! blogging/computer-ing in ART class.(like im doing now) OH-MY-GOD! can i follow all this shit? Well Nina thinks that o level is 365 more days!Nina doesnt realise that she have to satart planning a timetable.(which she always plan to do) okay stop complaining already!!!!!!!!! edited* nina wants to be the manager of Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas Wednesday, September 10, 2008
; Nina. i dont know why, i dont understand why i've been feeling worried all the time. GOD PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!! nothingness ; Nina.   .jpg)    just boredom! Sunday, September 07, 2008
yes he did! ; Nina. alright yesterday, he came to my place with his friend. im not telling the reason why he came cause he wants it to be a secret. and i shall respect his request. yes HE CAME TO MY HOUSE. read my lips, HE CAME INTO MY HOUSE. i wasnt prepared though he already told me that he's coming. i almost laughed(i did and i feel so bad haha) when i first saw him at the gate. so after abt half an hour i left him and friend with mum and aunty cause promised Kat to go Geylang with her. but wasnt my fault what leave him just like that, who asked him to come late. haha i feel so bad. i swear all the time my soul was with Kat but my mind still left at home, that i sms mum to msg me when he left. i swear he's like no longer the S guy i used to know. He's like the new Mr H. the real Mr H. so went Geylang with Kat , as usual she and her i dont know street friends. stopping here and there. were too busy surveying clothes that we forgot the time. so no more train to boon lay. went take bus to amk and took NR1 to yishun. unfortunately ezlink card got not enough value in it and i had no cash left with me. thank god the uncle gave me a free ride. reached home arnd 2? AND AND. just now my Mr H called me. i was so totally happy. mum bought some stuff from him. and that goes to show that there are more chances of me meeting him again. i was so happy nak mampos to know that he'll still call after last night. half way through talking to him suddenly phone went " YOU HAVE NO MORE BALANCE IN YOUR MAIN ACCOUNT". like cb know. haha nevermind nina nevermind. im sure we'll talk again. Labels: i miss him already Wednesday, September 03, 2008
just another trick. ; Nina. guess who i met just now? i met kesavan. i miss him tonnes. omg i was listening to music, waiting for train to tpy when suddenly a guy came and stand beside me. so close. i looked up. i was like ''eh.." and punched his arm. not that hard cause its a hi punch. hahaha. wanted to hug him badly but cannot cause i was fasting. yeah so took same train as him, alight at same station. talked a lil. and bye! i hate the gap between us. i mean we used to be phone calling. i just dont get it. nevermind as long as we still exchange hi and bye. and.... nope! he didnt call nor msg. i guess its just another trick, another trap. maybe tonight or never. maybe it was just yesterday. nevermind i dont ask much except for stop coming in and going out of my life? alright earthlings, gtg. HAPPY FASTING,Nina Amiliah. please wake me up! ; Nina. i never thought of knowing you. liking you. it started of with hatred. i swear i hated you. but you came one day, sat beside me held my hands, hug me tight. i thought things were just fine. as long there's only me and you. but as time passed, you shot me in the head with the fact that we were never together we'll never pursue. and you'd always say, "its not the time yet" almost a year passed when you left me. unexplained. it hurts me when they mention you. to forget you, it took me awhile. but when i almost did. to think that you've walked away. to think that i too could do the same. yesterday, you return like nothing happened. why are making a come back? has the time come? no more high hopes. no more dreams. so i may ask, did i really make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life? yes! i thought it will never happen. never. like i mentioned in my previous post. i dont get it. i swear i shiver the moment he say its him. so i said, dont kid me. why all of the sudden? yes! i admit i was happy. i was over the moon. to know that he remember me. after almost a year, he come back to ask how im doing. i mean why now? why the same month he left? what is this? a trial? yes! and he did call me last night. the same cheerful voice. his normal tone. so he went, "assalamualaikum. nina amiliah ader?' yes! he remembered my full name. i didnt want to talk though i really want to. i almost cried when i put down the phone. was it tears of joy or was it tears of fear? fear of what happened the three months we were 'together'. more tears than joy. but it was not easy to be forgotten. yes! i told Kat. yes! she warned me. im unsure. i may and may not trip again. i never know what emotions can lead me to. Kat. im sorry, i know you're worried for me. because the incident, it was the worse that happened. not once, not twice. but the fifth. like i said, we'll see as time flies. anyway it just happened yesterday. im not sure of today and the day that follows. Eliza, i'll tell you when i see you. cause you know, what i know. and please! if im dreaming, please wake me up. if i forgot, please remind me. and yes! im hoping he'd call again. Monday, September 01, 2008
how can that happened? ; Nina. woke up at 4.45 in the morning today to have my pre-dawn meal BECAUSE today is the first day of fasting. wohoo so excited. so spoon out food, was about to get it into my mouth when suddenly(and i wonder why) i remembered the time was last year, the first day of puasa, you called me to ask what i had. asked me what time im going to school? oh my i stopped for a moment, gather myself together and said "come on nina, its never gonna happen again. never. now move on!" i wonder and keep wondering why the thought struck me at a sudden. am i missing him? no impossible. thats like a year past. alright then went to sleep again, overslept and was late for art coursework. sigh. Your fingertips across my skin The palm trees swaying in the wind Images You sang me Spanish lullabies The sweetest sadness in your eyes Clever trick Well, I never want to see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me Goodbye, my almost lover Goodbye, my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance My back is turned on you Should've known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do We walked along a crowded street You took my hand and danced with me Images And when you left, you kissed my lips You told me you would never, never forget These images No Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me Goodbye, my almost lover Goodbye, my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance My back is turned on you Should've known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do I cannot go to the ocean I cannot drive the streets at night I cannot wake up in the morning Without you on my mind So you're gone and I'm haunted And I bet you are just fine Did I make it that Easy to walk right in and out Of my life? Goodbye, my almost lover Goodbye, my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance My back is turned on you Should have known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do Labels: almost lover |
